tikitomtom

A murder of crows is smarter than a potation of polynesiacs. Crows outsmart children up to age eight on simple tasks. Studies have shown it. Extrapolating from this, I figure that once a group of Tiki peeps get to our third or fourth drinks, we’re likely operating around the same mental age. Perhaps we should […]

“Nothing says class like a monkey with a fez.” This axiom is Stephen’s creed. The quip has even been written on his birthday cake. But, the original utterance was a retort to Heidi’s question “Why the hell are you buying all this monkey with fez stuff?” To Stephen, the answer was quite obvious. The fezzed

Mark looked directly at Debbie and said, “It’s ninety percent her fault.” Mark places responsibility for their extensive collection on Debbie’s shoulders. I assumed the other ten percent had to be attributed to that time when Mark brought a Tiki carving back from Tonga in 1978. Mark is the proprietor of the Fuzzy Smudge, their

Orlando asked out of the blue, “Are you LeRoy’s brother?” Although I could tell that Orlando was joking, it was a huge compliment nonetheless. To be told I might resemble LeRoy Schmaltz, co-founder of Oceanic Arts is a considerable compliment. LeRoy has well-documented shirtless and bearded swagger, and is likely the most prolific Tiki carver

If Tiki were to adopt official colors, I’d nominate Phthalo blue and Phthalo green and include every luxurious and exotic shade in between. Dawn is the undefeated champion of phthalo colors. She has spent her career crafting alluring works of art using the juicy watercolor and acrylic tints of copper phthalocyanine (CuPc). Take one look

Every bar needs a story. Kim asserted this truism as a matter of fact as she poured the six of us a grog. The rains had finally taken a break, and the recent floodwaters had subsided. Mixed with the sounds of Delstroyers surf and the Kentiki Jungle Box bird calls, I could hear the lapping

The Chinese Village has quite a nice afterlife at the RiKa Tiki Reef. It seems quite yin-yang to me. Childhood meals at elaborately decorated mid-century Chinese-American restaurants inspired many grown-ups to become home Tiki bar enthusiasts. It’s fitting that the bamboo from yesterday’s Tiki temples should live on in today’s Tiki residences. The Daoist circle

It was 1950. At an ancient Mesoamerican temple in the Yucatan, a young kid clutched a small idol fashioned from porous stone. He had just emerged from the base of a Mayan pyramid covered in dust, parched, and a bit out of breath. Uncle Cliff approached with caution and intrigue. The idol must have come

In sickness and health, to love and cherish, ’til Tiki do us drop. I could swear that phrase might have been an alternate wedding vow for Heather and Don Waters. In the past two years, they have completely built three (yes, I said three) home Tiki bars and a Tiki bedroom in their 1970s house

I went to get a drink from the Tiki bowl and had to queue behind a Jungle Cruise skipper, a creepy monkey, an Elvis impersonator, and three toucans. I thought to myself … This is a really funny punchline. Keith is a former Disney Jungle Cruise skipper–turned–Elvis impersonator. Sissy grew up with a grandfather who