Savage Patty is terrified of birds. According to her theory, they exist to peck at your juicy eyeballs. She’s not sure how her fear of feathered fowl first took flight, but it’s likely that watching Hitchcock’s The Birds at an impressionable age didn’t help. Quick tip? Don’t invite Savage Patty to join you at the Bird Sanctuary, even if it’s to see the parrots. Not a good choice for a Savage outing. Patty might be a bit peckish.
Riptide (aka Ted), on the other hand, doesn’t seem terrified of much at all. In fact, he’s drawn to heinous horror films, especially those that involve scantily clad women on tropical islands. Perhaps I should have expected to have monster companions as I stepped into the dark Nani Malalo, Ted and Patty’s amazing home bar. First, I was greeted by the tree suit monster in From Hell it Came, and then there was plenty of chlorophyll blood to gore around while we got dizzy from the special (can I say truly cheesy?) effects of Mad Doctor of Blood Island.
Read the rest of the story in Polynesiacs: Tiki at Home, page 116.
Nani Malolo, Springfield, Illinois
